Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
