Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
