i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
