We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
