Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
