i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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