Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
