Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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