I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
