real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
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between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
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I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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