so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
