I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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