Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Damn victory sex feels great
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
