how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
