I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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