No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
