My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
40s are totally the cure
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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