It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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