So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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