just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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