Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Duck Duck Cougar?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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