I don't think brook has ever known best
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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