Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize