One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
