can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
