i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
