apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
