did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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