its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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