have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
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it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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