you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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