I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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