I'm laying in your front yard are you home
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
