Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
