my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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