grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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