I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
