I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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