Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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