He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
