am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
