Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just want to make out with him forever
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize