y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
