He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Sober January is a disaster.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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