I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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