If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
