you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
