And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
