So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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