ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize