so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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