I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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