I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
