i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
